This morning driving to work in the twenty-year-old Porsche Boxster S my friend has loaned me whilst I await the arrival of my new ride, I pulled up behind a 718 Cayman GT4.
Oh! what a sound assaulted me as the lights turned green and what a sight as he rearranged the tarmac as if he just didn’t care, he probably didn’t.
I dropped a gear and tried to follow him; it was marvellous. Two petrol heads doing what we enjoy. But alas and alack it ended all to soon as I needed to take a turn to get to work.
This is pretty much the story now for the diminutive entry-level Porsche, after Porsche announced that it would follow the hemp trouser-wearing sheeple and stop production of Internal Combustion-Powered variants this October.
Despite Porsche’s inability to sell their EV offering the big wigs at Zuffenhausen have decided that it is all-over-red-rover for petrol powered Boxter’s and Cayman’s.
Let us all pause for a moment of deafening silence as Porsche, in its infinite wisdom and unshakable confidence, ushers in the last of the internal combustion engine 718s.
Yes, farewell, sweet symphony of flat-six fury, goodbye crackling exhausts that sang the song of the open road. Porsche, with eyes firmly fixed on the EV future—where the only soundtrack is the faint hum of compliance—has decided it’s time to pull the plug. Literally.
And what a bold move it is, especially considering the wild stampede of consumers not lining up to buy their electric vehicles. Truly, there’s nothing like dwindling sales to really drive home that this is exactly what people want.
Who needs visceral driving pleasure, mechanical engagement, or soul, when you can have… range anxiety and fake engine sounds piped through speakers? After all, who among us hasn’t dreamed of charging our Porsche for 45 minutes next to a Taco Bell off the freeway?
But fret not, purists! Porsche surely has a spreadsheet somewhere proving this is the right move. After all, emotion has no place in a brand built on decades of motorsport heritage and enthusiast passion. Right?
So here’s to the 718 ICE, may it rest in peace, knowing it was sacrificed at the altar of progress, relevance, and ESG scores. The future is silent, sterile, and slightly slower around the Nürburgring… but it is coming.
Danke, Porsche. Truly inspired.
